When I was out of money and a bag, I didn't even want to get out of bed. The only reason I did was to find a way to get a joint. I was not happy unless I was stoned. I felt incomplete. At one point, we were 5 months behind on our rent, didn't have sh-it, always late on the bills that were a necessity, which was rent, car, and electric. We went for years without a phone or cable. Sadly, we could have had it and a lot more if we wouldn't have spent so much on weed.

I started skipping school so I could stay high all day . When I did go to school, we smoked it outside at lunch time. After I dropped out of school, I got pregnant and still couldn't completely quit. After I had the baby, it went back to the same old thing. I was smoking from the crack of dawn until I hit the hay.

I could go on and on with weed stories, but my point is that it is addictive. An addict is an addict whether it is marijuana or another drug of choice. My life is forever scarred from it now. I kept a 4.0 grade average and wanted to go to college to be a nurse, but now I have got to wait until the time is right and work to make a decent living for my children. I have thought about smoking it once in a while because there is no greater feeling, but I know I can't because I am an addict and I would never chance living like that again. I never want to sink so low again that I choose to buy a joint instead of toilet paper and something to eat. The feeling was just too good to me not to feel that way all the time. That is when you need to quit.

I hit rock-bottom during my second pregnancy, and knew if I wanted my children to have a normal life, it had to stop and it did! I was determined! I moved out of state, moved in my dad's house where pot was forbidden. I knew if I screwed up and did it there he would put me in a rehab and take my daughters away from me. I also leaned to god a lot. I now have a normal life, a nice apartment, a brand new car, bills paid on time, and pretty much can manage to get whatever I want! I hope I have inspired somebody out there to quit no matter what it takes.

Lisa

After reading your article and comparing it to my own personal experiences as well as observations of those around me, I must say that I frankly have never found cannabis use in any form to ruin someone's life as it did yours.

It strikes me that you seem to blame a lot of things on your smoking "habit" when there is absolutely no knowledge that it really was the cause of your problems. People very frequently begin smoking during adolescence while many rapid changes are occurring in their lives. How is anyone, a doctor, an observer or even yourself to know that all these things you blame on your smoking are really because of that? It seems vastly more likely to me that you simply made a lifestyle change while you were 16, and that change involved smoking. Allow me to give you the example of my life:

I was a bumbling 14 year old kid, unpopular and with very low self esteem. I was lazy and my grades suffered. Then I began smoking weed. My self esteem rose and I became really happy with myself for the first time since elementary school. My grades rose and I became more active in school activities. Now it's 4 years later and I still smoke marijuana recreationally. Occasionally I reward myself with a light buzz at the end of a day of good work. I'll also sometimes light up on a weekend, particularly Sunday, which is my day to relax before the start of the next week. I also smoke with my friends, and I feel that our friendship is helped by us being more kind and patient with each other while buzzed.

Now, I started smoking weed when I was 14, and my life turned around. But I don't actually give cannabis the credit for it. It was actually a lifestyle change that occurred. You see, when I was 14, my brother stayed with us for one summer. I had a lot of fun with him, and he taught me a lot of things about dealing with other people and doing good in school. He also showed me how to smoke marijuana. Marijuana was not the cause of this great boon in my life, my brother was. Likewise, I'm inclined to believe that marijuana is not the cause of this slum your life is in. Instead, I think that you merely made a wrong decision somewhere and steered the wrong way.

I hope that in reading my example you come to realize that you cannot blame one single thing for all that is wrong in your life. Once you stop fighting blame, you can begin to work on correcting all that has gone wrong in your life over the past years.

Silken Soul

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