Not only did the emotional crash come from 5 years of not fully experiencing emotional healing from losses within that time frame (the end of a 17 year marriage, empty next syndrome, hysterectomy, etc.), but the physical crash from giving up paxil was downright scary. I compared it to seeing "flashers" experienced from taking hallucinogens, not to mention the heart palpitations, sweats, amphetamine-like effects, sleeplessness, nausea, loss of appetite, diarrhea, etc.

I have been four weeks now anti-depressant free, and although the physical withdrawal has all but subsided, I am finding myself plagued with a new sort of depression that is worse than anything I've ever experienced. In fact, in reaches beyond depression into the "gates of hell." A sense of hopelessness and despair, like nothing I've experienced since entering into recovery 11 and a half years ago, has enveloped my complete being. Last week, I ended a 3 year relationship because the very presence of this man sends me into a rage. My best friend is now way too cheerful for me, to the point that her response to life seems "insincere," and I've told her so. So imagine what effect that has had on our relationship! By the way, she has now been on paxil since last January, at my recommendation.

I am at a loss what to do. I would get out and go walking, but I have come down with the flu. I basically feel like a piece of poop. Anyway, my hope is that "this too shall pass," and in the meantime I will take this opportunity to warn those of you out there who might find it necessary to go off the drug to proceed with caution. What is the Metabolife drug I saw mentioned on this web site? Could someone out there please help me with this and other information as to how to recover from this scourge. Thanks, all you paxilites!