After about a year on the drug, I started to feel a bit indifferent, I didn't give a s--- about anything. I went to work if I felt like it, I dodged issues, felt like sleeping all day, and felt the entitlement to do it. My mom noticed a change in me and was unaware of the meds. In February 2002, with a baby due in a few months I decided to get off the drug. I stopped cold turkey. The side effects that everyone here felt, I felt as well. My shrink told me I was crazy and that cold turkey was not the way to do it. In a month, I was back on it at 10mgs (was on 20 when I quit). I had stayed on them until October of 2004, didn't want to be on Paxil my whole life.

I quit cold turkey once again. I had tried to taper off and it felt the same as cold turkey, so I went cold turkey once again. I started to feel good after a couple of weeks. The happiness didn't last. Started to feel horrible, so I went to see my MD. He warned me of the complications of the medicine and their "lingering side effects." The acute side effects are the easy part. The first week of January 05, after the initial side effects stopped, I couldn't sleep. I was up every hour on the hour, never attributed it to the Paxil, thought I was having a bad night. The next night was worse, followed by 2 weeks from hell.

I thought I was losing my mind. Every issue that went unaddressed while on the meds, was coming at me 10000 miles an hour. Started obsessing over unrealistic things, couldn't enjoy life. I was a victim of my own mind. My shrink gave me Xanax and told me to relax. Took the Xanax and the anxiety subsided, until I went to sleep. The Xanax would wear off and my anxiety would triple. My life was becoming a living hell. I couldn't concentrate, I thought I was physically ill, I started losing all kinds of weight. I couldn't control my thoughts. I thought it would pass but it didn’t. I didn't sleep for 3 weeks, with or without a Xanax.

So I went back to my shrink and he told me I now have a General Anxiety Disorder. When I started the medication I was a bit depressed. Now I am a basket case. I went on Lexaro recently to cope and I am doing a bit better. Sleep is still my worst enemy, but my thoughts are a bit more organized now. I wake up violently, sleep is painful, and I truly feel I have caused irreparable harm to my brain.

To anybody out there having a rough time, unless you actually need antidepressants, don’t take them. Mild depression is called LIFE! And it’s lot better then chronic anxiety. I never had a suicidal thought in my life, but now I think about it all the time just to make the pain go away. If you have only been on meds for a short time, stop. The lingering effects won't be so bad. Do not make the same mistake I made.