That was just about the last time any teacher said anything positive about my academic ability. I managed, however, to make it through the University of California, Davis (graduating in the lower 1/3 of my class). After several years as a medical/health news writer, I came across information about the increasing number of adults being treated for ADD. Finding it nearly impossible to focus on my work in my newly imposed home office arrangement, I knew I had to do something before I got fired or severely damaged my health by self medicating with alcohol and nicotine. So, approximately 3 years ago I started taking Ritalin again. Had I been taking it, or something else, for the intervening 23 years I'm sure I would have accomplished more in my professional life. I know I would have gotten more out of my education and probably been able to put it to better use. If the Ritalin I've been taking for the past three years has anything to do with my increasingly rapid career advancement, personal fulfillment and general satisfaction with myself and my life, I can only imagine what I could have accomplished had mid-1970s physicians known that most people don't grow out of ADD.

The happy ending is that I'm a happily married homeowner with two wonderfully zany sons and a fairly rewarding job as the managing editor of a 100,000 + circulation alternative health magazine. I haven't had a drop of alcohol for about 9 months and haven't smoked for 4 months -- and I don't miss either.

Don't be afraid of Ritalin (methylphenidate). It might not work for everyone, but -- except for appetite suppression, which I work around by eating right after I take my pills -- it has brought me nothing but peace and improved control over my life. Also, don't worry if you seem to need more than the usual dose: I take 30 mg (yes that's thirty mg, and yes, my doctor knows this) three times a day. If I take my last dose before 4:30 p.m., I can go to bed by 9:30 p.m. and fall quickly asleep. From the day I started taking it again, the Ritalin has actually improved my sleep. No longer do I turn off the light and start dwelling on what irks me about someone or something in my life. The argument that it's addicting is also specious. By that definition of addiction, I'm addicted to my glasses. An epileptic who needs to take anti-convulsives every day isn't addicted to those drugs, is he? So, why is someone who benefits from Ritalin addicted to stimulants?

I too have taken Ritalin since the 2nd grade and then stopped in the 12th grade because of rebellion and the belief that I didn't need to take a drug to be successful in my work in school. Since then, I have become a drug addict (which I have kicked altogether for the past three years) but have continued drinking a lot, as you might have in your past. I also wonder if I should go back to Ritalin because some days I feel like I'm out of control. My well being and self awareness are too muffled? Please give me your input. Should I go back or not?