In fact, proper anabolic steroids are hard to get here, especially in Sydney, since laws have clamped down hard due to users experiencing roid rage and killing people. But what do you expect? Of course there are steroids like methlytestosterone and anapolon which users experience roid rage on, and I can understand why doctors wont prescribe these. But deca is considered one of the safest steroids in the world, yet they wont prescribe it. The problem is that steroids are such a taboo topic that it's easier to be ignorant than to be informed. I feel as though I know more about anabolic steroids than some doctors do.

See, my problem is that I have broad shoulders and everyone thinks "he's strong," yet I'm weak. I don't know why. All blood tests say I'm fine. This just makes me more depressed as I am left without an explanation. This is very distressing as I get people who wish to start fights with me, yet I resort to letting people walk all over me as a result of being physically weak and unconfident.

I was a late bloomer and I told the doctor when I was 16 to please put me on testosterone injections as I looked around and everyone was maturing quicker than me. I never dated, was overweight with puppy fat, and felt generally uncomfortable. Guess what...the wouldn't. My testosterone levels are always towards the lower range of the scale. It's clear my body isn't producing enough of it. I've tried everything from fad diets to habitually using marijuana before bed and not eating to stimulate my metabolism so I could lose weight and underneath would be the real me, lean but strong. I believed this until I got as lean as I'm gonna get and I'm still flabby. I have a gut that wont go away.

I've never used roids, but I want to even for one cycle as I feel that is what I should have been given at 16. I go to the gym and the most I can bench is 18kg, 5 reps...and I see 15 year old kids that can do more reps at that weight. I am desperate. I told the doctor that I will take steroids illegally if I have to. He didn't care, as long as that practice didn't prescribe them. And the government wonders why people have roid rage. Perhaps if in certain cases certain steroids were given and patients were monitored then so many chemists, veterinarians and hospitals wouldn't be broken into and theived from.

I'm just trying to make my life better. It's not like I'm asking for heroin or anything. I just want to look and feel good as I have already educated myself. I am unemployed because I don't feel confident to work with my strength and body condition. I will never buy steroids off the street and if I have to break into chemists or veterinarians to get them, I will because I believe that in life you only get one body and one chance and I don't want to live without trying one cycle to see how it changes my life. Otherwise, I'll be bitter and blaming the powers that be for keeping me down in life, oppressed and depressed. If that means shortening my life span, so be it because at this rate I'll either turn back to drugs and be unemployed forever, being bitter how doctors have cheated me or I'll commit suicide.

Life is all about quality, and in life we are carried on this machine called our body. If we are unhappy with this machine that we cannot be separated from, then no matter how nice the scenery is, everything still looks and feels grim. I hope someone can help me or understand what I'm going through. I don't want to die and I don't think my terms are unreasonable. I just don't feel like a man and I cant take it anymore.

Jon

I sympathize with you, and believe me, I understand exactly where you're coming from. I think your emotional damage may result in you arbitrarily harming yourself in the long run. God has unfortunately dealt some of us a lesser hand than others in life, perhaps as a test to draw deeper within ourselves to find a remedy to combat our challenges. I firmly believe that you can counteract your distress by vesting commitment to be honest with yourself (not cheating through roids). Use your mental faculties to enhance your physical objectives. You sound like you have your senses intact. Strive to seek more knowledge, ask for help from other lifters.

My advice to you is to start a powerlifting regimentation. Powerlifting is rudimentary to strength. Emphasize the basic exercises: squat, bench press, rows and presses. Keep the reps low and sets low. A supplementation plan that I personally gained excellent results with several years back was with cybergenics. Cybergenics, though a couple of hundred dollars, is an intricate mix of vitamins that, in combination with an intense--and I really mean intense--exercise program, yield some very formidable results in increasing strength, whilst increasing lean muscle mass and burning off body fat. This method is very hard work, but I have faith in that it can work for you. Try these before resorting to steroids, please. Take pride and merit that you accomplished this seemingly impossible task with honest means and your own devices. I believe cybergenics is distributed by GNC.

Good Luck!
Trevor

No way do you NEED steroids at this point, believe me. When you start a cycle, you need to be fully aware of the consequences. An 8 week cycle on deca-durabolin is by no means the solution to your physical and mental well being. As Trevor points out, you would benefit from power lifting, but I disagree with the cybergenics stuff for a number of reasons. This stuff does not work for everyone, and if it does not work for you, you'll feel like crap after spending god knows how much on this stuff and getting no results. Instead, I can advise a number of alternatives you may or may not have heard,

Bill Phillips' Body for Life challenge is one. EAS, which is his company, and his magazine Muscle Media are excellent sources. His book Body for Life is excellent motivation. You want to build your body and have strength. Don't fret if you can only bench 18kg x 5 reps. The solution is to drop your weight and increase your reps. Start with 10-15kg, which should give you between 8-10 reps. Take 3 minute rests between sets and try to complete at least two to three sets per exercise. Change your diet and eat more solid carbs. Your ratio of carbs to protein should be 60:40 and no fat. Try the ECA stack of Ephedrine (25mg), Caffeine (200mg) and Aspirin (300mg) to boost your strength. Vary your workouts and make sure you get enough rest. Sleep between 7-10 hours. Carb up during the day and increase protein in the evening. Every meal should contain an equal proportion of fibre, protein and carbs Use potatoes for carbs, fish and chicken breast for protein, and non starchy vegetables and salad for fibre. Fat makes you fat. Chocolate makes you sluggish. Excess sugars and fizzy drinks make you feel sluggish.

You say you want more energy and strength. Perfect your form with lighter weights. Try different exercises. You wont lose your gut overnight. Build the body parts that are easier first. Do compound exercises such as squats, bench presses (incline and decline rather than flat), deadlifts and also shoulder presses. Make sure you use free weights, preferably dumbbells, and try to get in enough aerobics. To lose fat, the stair climber and rowing machine are two excellent machines that give adequate resistance. Keep your aim in mind every second of the day. The way you walk, the amount of energy you use on everyday activities must be balanced with your food intake. Invest in a set of dumbbells and every now and again during the day, pump some iron. Remember, a few reps are better than nothing at all.

When you walk into the gym, take tips from those around you. If you don't want to talk to them, watch their form, etc. Find a few people with good builds and concentrate on their bodies as your target. Go regularly and try to follow their routine. I'm not saying stalk them, but mold yourself into their physique. If you can't find anyone like this, go to a gym where the people are actually a motivation to look at. The key is to fit in with the flow of the gym. If everyone else's routine seems too much, try to adapt with less weight. Concentrate on technique and never try to overtrain. That would result in losing what you have.

Remember the building blocks for strength are the right food and REGULAR exercise--not only when you feel like it, force those reps right to the last one, always have targets, rely on yourself. Don't sit around. Keep moving during the day. Keep yourself occupied, increasing your protein and carbs respectively. Your muscular body is completely broken down and reconstructed over time. Bear in mind to drink plenty of water and watch what you eat and what happens to it. Did your body digest it or did it all turn to crap in the toilet? Make sure you piss clear. This is a sign of well-being. Invest in building up your immune system with multivitamin and mineral tabs and 1500mg time-released vitamin C. Do your reading on health and exercise. Seek advice from experts, and I am not, I speak only from personal experience.

By no means am I saying get the idea of steroids out of your head. Deca-durabolin is excellent stuff, but to stay in full form all year round, you need a good diet and a strict training regimen. Once you come off the 8 week cycle of deca-durabolin, you will need to use stuff like proviron, clomid, and even tribestan to get your natural testosterone production running again. Otherwise you will lose your gains from deca. Please read up fully on the use of these drugs before using them. Good info is readily available on the web look into the vast info available at web pages such as http://w1.322.telia.com/~u32204247/steroids.htm. Other drugs such as Clenbuterol (Spiropent) are also well worth looking into for their fat burning effectiveness.

I round up by saying good luck with it all, and remember to read up the vast info that is available and try to enjoy yourself. Look after your entire body from inside out. It is your insides that determine what your outside looks like. Although you are ready to go to the extremes, it's just not worth it if you're unable to live to tell the story. I started off with a feeling of intimidation from walking into the gym and picking up that 15kg bar, but within a few weeks it was a 20kg bar. After a few months, it was the 30kg bar and now, two years later, I bench press an average of 50kg. This doesn't seem much when I see the other boys in the gym benching 60-80kg and those monsters in the magazines that bench press 150kg. Start off with push ups. Think of it as trying to carry your body with your arms. Vary your push ups to incline and decline. Before you know it, you will have the spirit to walk into the gym, lift weights and not be bothered by those around you. Gradual achievement is in itself a reward, but does not validate treating yourself to the fat food or the lazy days off or late nights. If you can bench 10kg for 8 reps now, in a few months you'll be benching twice that amount for twelve reps. Be patient and remain consistent with your meals.

I believe steroids such as deca may benefit you when you've gained all you can from dieting and exercise techniques, as these are the basics that you'll have to stick to even when you're sticking needles in your ass. It is these basics that you return to after doing that first 6-8 week cycle, and it is these basics that you will have to hold on to for the rest of your life. If I can be of further assistance have any questions or doubts let me know.

Peace out!! and Keep the Faith
GOOD LUCK,
FAJID