Well, jitters is my middle name, so that did phase me in the least. But, after a while, I started getting really bad side effects. I had a pain in my heart. The pain was in the same place every time. I was not able to catch my breath. It became a problem for me to breathe. So, I went to the doctor not knowing why I could not breathe. Well, he put me on inhalers and told me it was allergies. It got to the point I would have to stop in the middle of my aerobics to catch my breath. It was frustrating to me because I had never, ever left in the middle of a class before, except once when the instructor sucked.

Anyway, I quit taking the stuff and my symptoms slowly went away over time. Oh, I had to quit drinking coffee too because every time I drank it, my symptoms would return. I think if I hadn't stopped taking the stuff I would have had heart failure. I also think I may have damaged my heart. Probably the valve of the heart they say.

I did take Ma Huang for about two years. I don't have enough energy without some kind of stimulant anymore. I don't know, maybe it's all in my head. I now have this big desire to take my boyfriend's medication for narcolepsy. I like the felling it gives me, most of the time. It makes me happy, full of energy, I feel smarter, more alert, I can work like a dog. But sometimes, it makes me sick, gagging to the point of vomiting, it gives me muscle weakness, and a big desire to drink to the point of drunkenness.

Well, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow because every joint in my hands and feet hurt really bad. I'm sure she's going to say, "shape up." So, a word to the additive personality. Don't do it. It is a drug and I think it was the start of my addiction. Thank God I haven't tried coke.

Yours Regretfully,
Terri